Blundering is an important skill in chess. A lot of people waste time trying to “prevent blunders” - rookie mistake. One must embrace the blunders and work through the process of turning a horrible blunder into a winning game. Today I will reveal a secret of chess that none of the so-called “instructional chess books” are willing to share with you.
STAGE 1 - PANIC
Your first reaction upon noticing you’ve blundered is to panic. The world is ending, you’re doomed, and your death is inevitable. All is lost. The key trick here is to not let your opponent see your shock. The best plan is to fake a bathroom emergency - clutch your stomach, mutter “uh-oh, not again!” and rush to the bathroom. This will give you the time to compose yourself.
STAGE 2 - TERROR
Now that your initial panic has worn off, you can work on the next stage - the utter terror that your opponent will realize your mistake and punish you for it. You’ll start to sweat, you’ll shake, your sense of existential dread will grow to a level far beyond your day-to-day existential dread. However, your opponent probably can’t read your mind, so we can harness these symptoms into portraying ourselves as a comfortable Stage 3 player.
STAGE 3 - BLUFF
You’re shaking and sweating because of excitement! A little smile creeps into your face - you see hope (you don’t) in the position. You know you’re going to win and your opponent will see it in your face. She falters, she misses the key move. You’ve survived and you’re free to focus on your next blunder.
STAGE 4 - ACCEPTANCE
Okay, she saw your blunder. She saw through your extravagant play-acting and grabbed the pawn. You sigh, you shake your head and you accept the game is not going well - but you don’t give up. You’re ready for stage 5.
STAGE 5 - SWINDLE
You shift into full swindle mode. Your opponent is confident and you’re going to exploit that, with tricks, traps, tricky traps, and trappy tricks. You give up a second pawn, you give up a piece. You move quickly, as if you’ve mentally checked out already, but nothing could be further from the truth. She grows overconfident and misses your sneaky plan. You sacrifice again for a perpetual check and the game is saved. You leave happy whilst your opponent is disappointed by not converting their advantage - the blunder has once again paid off.
Conclusion
You’re now armed with a tried and tested technique to embrace and benefit from blunders. Blundering is now just another weapon in your arsenal and how can your opponents ever hope to compete with that?
Come back next week to learn Why Endgame Theory Holds You Back!
Where does rage quitting fit into this?